Gets Along Well With Others

I've been silent on the issue of immigration long enough. I'm so tired of job-pilfering Canadians sneaking into our country, stealing our women and bringing their cheap prescription drugs into our neighborhoods. Those Canucks with their tasty syrup and mounted police are ruining our country.

What? The immigration issue only pertains to people from Mexico? Why are we mad at Mexicans? They gave us tamales, chili verde enchiladas and fantastic daytime TV. What about all those illegal Asians, Australians, Polynesians or Greenlanders? What about those tricky Brits disguised as middle-class Americans, soaking us for billions of dollars in dental treatments? And what about the Kardashians? Please tell me they're in the country illegally because I'm ALL for deporting narcissistic, no-talent divas.

I'm just asking, is there a reason we've decided to become intolerant, arrogant and hateful? Glance through the headlines on any given day and you'll see stories about Quran-burning preachers, hate crimes against gays, border patrols, racial profiling in Arizona (okay, they don't call it that. How about ethnic harassment?), protests regarding the Islamic center in New York City and even changing the constitution.

Didn't we all learn in Kindergarten that everyone is different—and that's okay? What about all those Sesame Street episodes about appreciating different cultures and lifestyles. Tell me that wasn't a Muppet conspiracy?! Or does tolerance only apply to children?

Our big melting pot of a country has become a vinaigrette with the oil and vinegar separating like

Hollywood marriages. Everyone's taking a side and no one's listening to anyone else. We've even questioned the citizenship of our president, for crying out loud.

My great-great-great-ancestors were from Wales, England and Scotland and I'm not sure if any of them actually became U.S. citizens. For all I know, my great-great-grandparents were anchor babies, but thanks to them I can now be as arrogant as any other American. I understand there have to be rules regarding citizenship, but can't there be a way to allow hard-working people to stay in our country legally? Could we deport five politicians to Iceland in exchange for U.S. citizenship for 100 people?

I've lived in Kearns for almost 25 years and have dealt with people of every ethnicity. My kids grew up around these families, went to school with their children and learned to appreciate different cultures. Until now, America has always been the "Kearns" of the world—embracing diverse nationalities and accepting quirky (yet loveable) behavior. But if we're going to start locking the doors, we'll need to change the "welcome" message on our Statue of Liberty.

"Give me your tired, your poor,

(Unless can't speak English or your last name rhymes with Smardashian)

Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.

(As long as your documents are in order, you can prove residency for the last 10 years and provide tax returns since 1979.)

Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,

(Well, maybe the "tempest-tost" but no homeless. We're tired of helping the underprivileged.)

I lift my lamp beside the golden door!"

(Yeah, we're lifting something all right. I don't think it's a lamp.)

Come on, everyone. Lighten up. And I don't mean in a "skin-tone" sort of way. I mean in a way where we can embrace (or at least respect) other races, religions, observances, traditions and viewpoints. Even those of the sneaky Canadians.